Today was Rosh Hashanah. My husband is Jewish, I am not, our kids are being raised Jewish which brings up all sorts of issues. People ask me often why I have chosen that, as I am the mother and technically I have “rights” to the religion of our children. However, long ago my husband and I spoke about it and we had decided that it would be easier for me to come to grips with the fact that our children would be brought up to believe that Jesus was not the Messiah. After all, I was told over and over that Jesus was a Jew. He went to synagogue and was devout to his faith, so the kids would simply be learning about his heritage. For my husband to have to deal with our children being taught that Jesus was the Messiah…well, he really couldn’t handle that. And since we wanted our children to be brought up in a faith, and preferably one faith (not being schlepped one week to church and the next week to temple) it just made sense to do it that way.
However, I really dislike the holidays. I dislike the fact that I have no idea what is going on. The first time we went “synagogue shopping” I immediately pulled out a pen to write something down. I had no idea that writing on both Shabbat and the Holidays was a big no-no. Oops. I feel like each week I run into some “oops” because there are so many rules, and an equal amount of loopholes for what is work and what is not. What is allowed and what is not. And since I refuse to convert because I firmly believe in what I believe, I don’t have any real desire to read the “Judiasm for Dummies” book we have. My husband isn’t even pressuring me, but I am at the synagogue a lot more often than he is. I drive the carpool, I take the kids to Sunday School, and I even maintain their website. Luckily this particular synagogue is very progressive and have a lot of interfaith families, and they are very understanding. But I keep feeling like I am going to mess something up.
I am going to try to insert a picture into this post, since I am so far behind! And of course I can’t find a picture that is interesting. I need to finish all the rest of the weeks by Yom Kippur, or it just won’t get done. Am I supposed to be doing tags yet? I did figure out my widgets issue, and just looked back at my homework and no…just have to do widgets this week. So I should be able to post this tomorrow and get on with week 4.
My cute heart
3 responses so far ↓
Sliloh // October 2, 2008 at 4:24 pm
That makes for an interesting life. I’ve had a couple of friends that were married to Jewish men while they were Christian. They have good strong marriages and everyone seems to have handled it very well.
Anita
Barb // October 3, 2008 at 11:52 am
A lovely post, Karey! Informative, interesting, well-written.
I’m a Christian. Several years ago, and for many years, I had an unlikely “best friend,” a man over 20 years my senior, with whom I walked most mornings. I learned a great deal about Judaism from him, went to his synagogue a few times — learned I couldn’t sit with him, though, as the front section of seats was reserved, through yearly dues. (But I could take notes… of course I didn’t go on High Holy Days.) I heard visiting rabbis — some women, some students from another city — and learned there are different views within Judaism just as within Christian denominations.
I asked so many questions he couldn’t answer that I bought some books. Aside from the main question of who Jesus was (is) and a few “customs” passed through the years in both Jewish and Christian cultures, there isn’t a whole lot of difference in our belief systems. Our values are based on the books of Moses and the Ten Commandments. (Jesus taught there are two commandments: Love God — the first five Commandments — and love each other — the last five Commandments.) That pretty much covers everything, when you think about it.
Gotta go — but know this. How you raise your children is still your choice in this country. You don’t have to answer questions that question you and your husband’s decisions. (Just my opinion… )
Bean // October 4, 2008 at 3:22 am
Your situation reminds me of when I moved from Seattle to New York. In Seattle, I had very little exposure to the jewish faith. In New York, planning coverage at the hospital was a tougher for the Jewish holidays than the Christian. Kosher food was another minefield for me as I would try to discern what was safe to serve. I saw huge family arguments over shrimp cocktail and I just didn’t get it. It was enlightening and embarassing. It sounds like your family made some thoughtful decisions and dealing with the challenges as they arise.
It gives me hope.